I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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