just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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