Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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