I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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