And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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