I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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