Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
