24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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