I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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