You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
