I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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