I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
