8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hell yes lets make some ravioli
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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