I hope mine doesn't look like that
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize