We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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