Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she peed on how many people?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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