Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
