WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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