@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
