he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
