I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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