I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
