don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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