she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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