Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
