I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
