Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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