Your dad touched me again.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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