I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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