so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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