I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
