i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
