How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
