I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This is my gift to your gina
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
