yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
her facebook's as public as her vagina
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
