I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
