The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize