At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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