Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize