Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize