My hand turned me down
My cat gives me a boner
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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