i think my mom watched the whole time
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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