Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize