my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
