Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
