I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
