Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
