She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
