I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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