Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
