sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
