when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
