i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
