dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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