Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
