My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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