And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
