i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize