Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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