I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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