Can Purell be used as lube?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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