she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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